May 10, 2011

this place sucks sometimes: and other academic thoughts.


The past few days have been bu hao, no bueno, not good.

In order to not blast the character of those employed by my university (does libel even exist in I am going to keep my details (and aggressive words) to a minimum.

I'm currently in another battle at school (in email)- this one regarding me wanting to change my major and being told no - having someone blatantly stand in my way because of their own personal interests.

There's been a lot of tears. There's been a lot of googling translating things like, "your office is acting unprofessional," and a lot of just wondering what my future holds.

If this person really blocks me changing my major, do I want to still study with them after they have acted so rudely and childish? NO. Do I want to do a PhD in a major I do not feel compelled to study? NO.

So does this person have the power to derail my plans and make me leave, as they seem to be trying to and we HAVE NEVER EVEN MET BEFORE?

That is the million dollar question.

I'm not sure if I have it in me to complete this. I'm not sure if I want 3 more years of battles with fools. I'm not sure if I should just send out my application to that job in California and move on with my life.

I have already been accepted by another professor in the major that I want. I only need this person (my current advisor) to sign a paper letting me go. But he is refusing to sign or even tell me where his office is located.

Tomorrow I will be going to the international students' office to see what they have to say, but I am not sure what my approach should be. I didn't go today because I couldn't talk about it without crying. I feel bullied - unfortunately not an unfamiliar feeling in

The longer I stay here, the more incidences I have that tell me that this is not a good place. That a country without religion (any religion) is morally corrupt at its core.

I just don't know how much longer I will have to/can bear the brunt of that corruptness.

Praying for peace and answers today. And for a certain individual to fall off a bridge. Oops, did I type that? Ya...

walk slow. xoxo.

1 comment:

Mom said...

Ugh! I tried to call you this morning but you didn't answer. I hope you get this worked out soon.