Two nights ago, this man stood outside my dorm with a single red rose. It was our 3 month anniversary and I was treated to a special dinner and a walk in the public park, surrounded by dancing Chin.ese grandma's and children on roller skates.
We were so, so happy.
Last night I broke his heart and in the process, my own.
The problem with posting on my blog about my relationship, which took me so long to do, is that now that I have ended my relationship, I have to post again. Sucks.
Breaking things off was one of the hardest decisions I have had to make. Mostly because I love him dearly and he did nothing wrong. But after 3 months, I woke up and realized that our religious difference (which has been becoming more clear to me) was going to end in disaster down the road and that I was disconnected from God.
I had a lightening bolt of realization that I would rather be in tune with God and alone than be in a healthy, happy relationship and feel distant from my Creator. I had to break two hearts to feel whole again.
I feel embarrassed, guilty, regretful, sad. But also courageous and relieved.
And most importantly, I will be running on the Great Wall in two days without a mess of lies and compromise swirling in my head.
Sometimes the hard thing and the right thing are the same.
walk slow. xoxo.