The most repeated commandment in the Good Book is, "do not fear."
It's in there over 200 times. (heard this once and never forgot it.)
One day when I write my story, I will remember this week as interesting. Different than the rest in that there was a conglomeration of emotional need swirling around me. And in a twist of roles, I was the giver of care rather than the recipient.
Being a teacher is an emotional job. If you do it right. (so is being a friend).
I've learned that it does not matter if my students are Chine.se or American, they still have needs and desires, and dreams and fears that require a teacher's presence. A tangible, personal guide.
I have fear that I am not adequate enough to be that person for my American students. When confronted with a phone call from my boss today to, "take care of" a situation - I instantly had a jolt of fear that I am not mature enough, grown-up enough, experienced enough to "handle" things.
Dude, I'm a mess myself. I wanted to say to him.
But then I remembered my role as teacher. It is not a role that requires perfection, but rather, empathy. I do not need to have all the answers, I just need to be able to point my students in the right way to find the answers themselves.
Thats much less scary of a task.
Today I am thankful for my job. I am thankful to be a teacher. I am thankful that my mom is a great teacher so that I have an example. I am thankful to have my career jump-started while living in Chi.na.
While taking care of my, "first of many incidents," according to my boss, I am reminding myself, so that I can remind my students, "do not fear."
Easier said than done. But we forge ahead, nonetheless.
walk slow. xoxo.
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