Oct 25, 2011


This morning I woke up feeling great.

I threw on my workout clothes (I'm bringing spandex to asia, one awkward bike ride at a time) and headed to Starbucks (right next to the gym) to meet my friend Jess for our weekly debrief session. Then I said words I never thought I would hear myself say...

"I can't wait to get to the gym and weigh myself."

Um....what? She laughed at me. I meant it.

After a month of hovering stagnant 2-4 pounds over my goal weight that I set for myself in February...I just knew it was today.

Yesterday I took a "rest" day. It was almost painful. I "ate clean" (bananas, apples, sweet potatoes, oh my!) and just chilled at home when I would have been at the gym. I watched an episode of Biggest Loser and played with my cat and had to verbally tell myself, "No gym today." It's become that much of a habit - or need.

A rest day was just what the fat fairy ordered because when I got to the gym today I practically ran to the scale, that was being used by a naked Ch.inese person so I had to wait which made it even more climatic...

I hit my weight loss goal!!!! I squeeled on the scale and the cleaners stared at me and the naked people blow drying their lady bits stared at me and the yoga teacher in her flowy garb stared at me and I did.not.care. I did it - 5 days short of the October 30th deadline I set way back in February.

I weighed myself 2 more times just to "make sure" and practically floated out onto the floor and ran a celebratory 5k in 29 minutes. (another sentence I never thought I'd say).

I'm floating today. I am so happy. Nothing can steal my spirit. I went to the grocery store after the gym and was smiling at randoms. I entered the dorm and was waving my newly purchased cucumbers to the Africans on the first floor yelling, "Nihao!"

I've worked so hard hoping this day would arrive.

The numbers:

-I have lost 27 pounds in 7 months - average of a little more than 3/4 pound a week
-My BMI has gone from 29.0 (overweight) to 24.0 (healthy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

27 pounds seems like an awkward goal, but for me I was looking at BMI and wanting to get into the healthy range. I choose the highest weight for my height for a female and went for it. I choose October 30th because it seemed like forever away and because a certain someone from my past gets married that day and I wanted to look awesome at the wedding (more on this another day).

I.am.elated. I am not overweight.

Because I am really awkward, here's a picture montage. Somewhere along the line I started taking pictures of myself in the bathroom mirrors at the gym. Almost every day. I told you I was awkward. What's even more awkward is when your friends look through your camera and find tons of pics of you in workout clothes at the gym. Ha.

This is the very first day at the gym, February, 2011...I wish I had a better "before" pic...

along the way, starting to love those jiggle-hugging spandex...

this was after my fastest 5k ever, getting closer....

buying new workout clothes because I want more tanktops (what? me?)...

BAM - today, October 25th, 2011 - 27 pounds lighter and stoked about it...

So what's next?

I have had to take an entirely different approach now that the jiggle is fading away (but trust me - there's still plenty). Now we (we = me and Body personified) are getting serious about nutrition and weights. We've got the cardio down, it's time to work on the details.

So what's gonna happen? More fiber. More water. More protein. Less sugar. More time spent with free weights (which means getting over my fear of the scary Chine.se muscle men starers). And more ab/core work (I've basically done none so far).

What started as, "I'm here to work out stress la la la" has turned into a serious numbers chart in my brain. And I hate charts. And numbers. But these things are important. Our bodies are science. This whole thing is so interesting to me. It's like my body does what I want it to. It just takes a lot of time. In order to be the best me I can, I need to know my daily protein and caloric needs - I do this by using the Fitness Tracker App (love it).

I do not reward myself with food because I am not a dog. But I do eat whatever makes me feel happy. Nothing is off limits. Ever. If I want to eat at midnight - I do. If I want candy - I eat it. But months of slowly changing my habits has caused me to naturally desire better stuff. My grocery cart is usually 3/4 produce, some tofu, and yogurt and nuts. No more fake crackers, cakes, or Chin.ese crap.

Speaking of Chin.ese crap - I rarely eat Chine.se food. All the oil makes me feel heavy and gross and lethargic. I love it from time to time, but if given the choice, I go home and have a yogurt bowl. You know what I do eat? Subway! 2-3-4 times a week. They know my order. (chicken on wheat with all the veggies, thousand island dressing).

So what's my new goal? I have played with the idea of a non-numbers goal just to get my brain off of numbers and the scale, but for now (since I still have weight to lose) I think I will remain in the numbers game, especially since I have the hang of it (finally).

I haven't talked tooo much about this journey on the bloggy because it's really personal for me. But I want to celebrate today and perhaps help to motivate other people too.

I've talked a lot about the "how" but not much about the "why." The "why" is so much harder to express. I did this because I wanted to love myself. I did it because I want to have a baby in the next 5 years. I did it because I was sick of hating all pictures taken of me. I did it because I felt out of control of my emotions. I did it because I have a big girl job now and don't want to face fat discrimination as I enter a career. I did it because I was sick of blaming other people for the way I treated myself. I did it because I deserve to look as awesome as I am.

So, the new goal is 9 more pounds by February, 2012. That would make 36 pounds lost in 12 months - slowing my weight loss poundage to exactly 3/4 a week and allowing more space for weights/muscle growthage. At that point I will be 4 pounds away from when I was my strongest/leanest in high school and on the swim team. (high school!?!?!) We'll see how I feel in 9 pounds, but I might switch to maintenance at that time and give myself a break after a year of getting on the scale everyday (I do - everyday).

But I won't get too far ahead of myself.

I'm relishing the now.

I did it. I reached my goal.

(and if I can - anybody can).

walk slow. xoxo.


agapelife said...

"I did it because I deserve to look as awesome as I am."
Love that Jess, and you. Good work girl. You're inspiring.

Miss Lynda and Mr. Al said...

That's our girl! As you said to me once... You "own" it! Way to go and you're lookin' good! Love the picture(s). You deserve to celebrate, and feel proud of yourself. We sure are. You make me want to get out and ride my bike! Take good care of yourself and Mr. Mao. Love you sweetheart!