Today was one of those days where something really awkward happened every 15 seconds.
This morning I was walking to school and realized I forgot to put on deodorant. Because I live in Crazyville and social norms are totally disregarded here, I reached into my gym bag, whipped out my deodorant, reached into my work dress and started applying away while walking down the street. (Hey- if I can see people pooping and spitting every 2 seconds, I should be allowed to apply deodorant in public. haha. That's my rationale).
Only 2 seconds later, with my arm in my dress, I look up to see a whole group of European businessmen in suits looking at me oddly while crossing the street towards me.
Later on the bus, I was munching away at my bag of banana chips and they kept falling down my dress. When I stood up to get off at my stop, banana chips crumpled to the floor, garnering some strange looks from my fellow passengers.
Tonight when I was in a taxi riding home from a date at the blind massage place, I looked out the window and made pro-longed eye contact (he stared, I stared back with eyebrows raised) with an elderly - obviously loaded - Chi.nese man in the car next to us at the red light. It took me a few seconds to realize that Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" was blasting from his car interior. Hearing "I wanna ride that pogo stick" while being stared at by a Chinese man...
That was awkward.
I forgot my towel at the gym - which meant I had to join the naked parade.
There was a guy in the gym wearing a cowboy hat while walking on the treadmill.
I got hotcupped and scraped today. It was my first time getting scraped. Apparently, my "chi" is bad. I have too much "ying" (hot) in my body. This could be from personality, frequent working out of the muscles, or general tiredness and exaustion. Ding Ding Ding to all of the above.
Scraping means you get an elephant tusk comb thing scrapped on parts of your back, neck, and backbone until you bruise. It is supposed to draw out the heat.
After getting the crud scraped out of me, it was time for hotcups. She put more cups on me than I have ever had. They went down my upper arms and past my pant-line.
I basically look like I got beat up all around my spine...
I told the ladies I was going to take a picture and tell my family Ch.ina is so dangerous that I get beat up all the time. haha. They were amused.
I was amused too, until I heard the "click" of a mobile phone while I was laying face down on the table with the cups on my back.
My massage lady was taking my picture on her camera phone while I lay helplessly strewn half-naked across the massage table.
walk slow. xoxo.