smells like change.

Change is in the air.

I have begun the process of packing up my apartment. I love my apartment. I love love love my apartment. It has housed many joyous celebrations, witnessed friendships being created and been my place of refuge to watch movies in my underwear when the thought of braving Ch.ina just overwhelmed me. I am very sad to leave this (rent-free) place.

I am moving from my own 2 bedroom apartment, complete with kitchen and bathroom to a shared dorm room and hall bathroom with no kitchen. This is going to be interesting. I am not pleased/excited/looking forward to this. But what has to be, has to be, and I need to suck it up and be thankful for my opportunities and think of the good rather than the uncomfortable.

Packing is taking longer than expected, though, because I cannot decide what "momentos" from my travels I want to keep. My excessive moving/traveling over the past few years has almost rid me of my packrat ways. Each time I move, I throw/give away almost everything. But this time it is different because of the amount of stuff I have accumulated while traveling.

Today I found money from Singapore and Thailand just floating around in my drawer. Do I save the tourist map of Malaysia? What about the dozens of train/plane/exhibit ticket stubs and activity brochures? Should I scrapbook the postcards from Tai.wan? Do I even like to scrapbook? (no) What do I want to have for my grandchildren to one day find in the attic, and what is junk? And can I possibly leave behind the 5 stuffed animals that have been gifted to me in the past 2 years? This is the hard part. I could easily have several boxes of tourist crap. But I also don't want to throw away something that could trigger an amazing memory in the years to come.

I'm not happy to move. I'm not happy for all the changes that are occuring - people leaving the city/returning to their countries, Chin.ese friends getting jobs/studying abroad, me leaving my job to become a student again, moving out of my awesome 'hood' where I know all the shops and workers, etc.

Oh well. People deal with change all the time. No matter the life we choose/are blessed with, every person deals with change on different levels all the time.

Now, the real question is...can I keep the giant, furry panda bear someone gave me last year?

“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.” - Anatole.

xoxo