courage.

"But courage, child: we are all between the paws of the true Aslan."

— C.S. Lewis (The Chronicles of Narnia)

I spent 10 hours today with my Dean from Concordia and a business professor who is visiting from America. We had lunch by the Linyin Temple, a meeting with the leaders at Zhejiang University where we sipped tea and they sat around in suits and I smiled and nodded constantly.

Then we had dinner with all the new cohort students in Hangzhou. Two years ago when I was beginning my Concordia masters degree, there were 3 of us in Hangzhou. Now there are 20.

The group is really diverse and interesting. I think they are going to do a great job here. I liked listening to their stories and helping them with small issues. Everyone's experiences are so different.

It was nice to encourage everyone and let them know what I'm doing after the program and how it's opened so many doors for me. There's also talks of future employment, so we'll see what happens.

I'm tired. But it was a good, full day. My voice box needs a break. Or I need to learn to be more concise. Either one. ha.

I also visited my teacher and found out my mid-term score for grammar class. I think I did horrible, but my teacher told me, "good job, you passed, you are a great student." I'm not sure when getting a 68 on your mid-term constitutes being a "great student" but whatever. I just need to pass. I have a masters degree already and I just need to pass these classes to be eligible for the HSK in June (the big test I have to score high on to enter my PhD program). There's no more trying to impress anyone, I've already got 2 degrees. I just don't care about grades. I just need to learn Chinese.

I just said just 800 times. just just just just. haha.

There's just so much to think about. For now...I'm going to rest and be peaceful.

walk slow. xoxo.

storytime.

Upon reflection of my little bloggy, I realized that I don't include hardly enough of the random, hilarious encounters that make up each day living here in the PRC.

So here are two stories from this week to make you (and me) smile:

1:

On Wednesday, my friend and I went to get foot massages at my favorite back-alley massage place. The workers there are my friends and their reflexology is legit. When customers come into the ratty shop and see me and my friends (I love to introduce people to this place), they are completely surprised and want to ask tons of questions about us.

Wednesday was no exception. An elderly man came in and started asking the workers about my friend and I, (thinking we couldn't understand). When asked where we were from, my reflexologist didn't hesitate and shouted out, "USB!"

Huh? I looked at my friend. Then we burst out laughing.

USA.

hahahaha.

2.

Last Sunday morning I took in an orphan donation collection box to chrch. We are in the process of collecting milk powder and winter clothes for the babies. I used my new oven box and wrote in green sharpie on the side "Orphan Donation Box." I gathered up my stuff, and headed outside to catch a taxi to chrch.

It is basically impossible to get taxis in this city and I was standing on the corner for quite a long time. I was totally daydreaming, not paying attention really to anything going on around me.

Suddenly I was shocked out my my stupor by the jingling of 3 kuai coins (about 45 cents) being thrown into my box. I looked at the man next to me and said hte first thing that came to my mind, "why did you do that?" I was so deep in thought that I didn't think to speak Chin.ese first and I forgot what I was holding.

He responded to me in perfect English, "I read the box."

"ooohhhhhhh," I got it. He was donating to the orphans!

I gathered up the money and gave it back to him and told him that the box was for milk powder and clothes and that I was heading to chrch.

He didn't understand me. He told me I should write that in Chin.ese on the box. But the people at my chrch are foreigners, I told him, we speak English. It must be written in English.

"No one knows what you are doing here, you need to write it in Chi.nese" he said to me as the light turned green for him to walk across the street. (our entire encounter was maybe 1 minute).

I patted him on the shoulder as he turned to walk across the street, "thank you, you are a good man." I wanted to tell him that there are a bajillion ways for him to give and help the poor in our city. I wanted to tell him that he was an example of generosity that I rarely see in his country-men. I wanted to tell him that his 3 coins in my box meant something to me and gave me courage to stand before my chrch and ask them to give. There are people out there who are willing to help. Even the random man on the corner who could read the english on my box.

So thank you again, random man. You restored my faith in humanity for at least an hour that day.

Here's some photos:

The weather has been b-e-a-utiful this past week! I am trying to enjoy it as much as I can because when winter comes I will long for these days...

11.11 is "singles day" in China. The youngsters go crazy (as I have in the past). This year I "celebrated" by going to work, then having dinner with these two monkeys (Michael and Stone):

Then I got some action, from a chicken head: beak to beak,

Last but not least, here's a joke my classmate told me:

Why did mozart get rid of all his chickens?

Because all they said was BACH BACH BACH.

hahaha.

I hope things are well in your corner of the world.

Walk slow. xoxo.

Nothing and Everything to Say.

I feel like I have so much to say and nothing to say.

Like, so much has happened in the past 2-ish days, but I don't know how to make them into a coherent, point-driven post and I'm not really sure if any of it is important anyways. haha.

But in the spirit of documentation and connected-ness: here's a random recap:

I cried during my grammar midterm. Cried. My teacher came over and put his hand on my shoulder and told me to quit my job. (I'm the only one in my class who works regularly). His exact words in Chin.ese were, "You work too hard. Leave your job you'll know this." Quitting my job is not an option that is possible or that I want. This was very upsetting and did not help my mental stability during the test. I don't wanna talk about it. :(

Of course I had to compensate for those emotions so I went home and baked/cooked like a maniac. This brings me to my next point: I am now the proud owner of a small toaster oven and a powder pink bike!

This means I can now bake for people and feel like a woman/human/first-world citizen again and I am a rolling/peddaling member of Hangzhou society. This also means that my chances of dying in transit have increased exponentially. And that I need to stop cussing at people in Chin.ese when they cut me off/scare the crap out of me/bump my bike tires with theirs. (sometimes knowing the language is a bad thing...haha.) Hey now, don't judge me, I'm workin' on it! ;)

I've learned how to install a Chi.nese character writing system on my MAc for free. So now I can do stuff like this: 哈哈 by myself. Which is awesome because I can practice typing to people by myself without using Google translate now!

I've also switched my cellphone into Chin.ese mode for good. That means that I have to practice reading every time I set my alarm, forward a text, etc. It also means that I can type in Chin.ese to my friends. (this option is not available in the english version that it has been set on for 2 years.) This was very exciting as last night on the bus I was texting the docs in Chin.ese and they were so surprised! whoo hooooo. Small victories.

My room is a mess because I've been catching up on handwashing all my laundry (the pits). And I've made a new life goal. When I graduate and have a PhD and get an awesome job, the first thing I am going to buy is an AWESOME washer dryer combo and a lifetime supply of gain detergent, downy fabric softener, and dryer sheets. I MISS HAVING A WASHER and DRYER. so much. so so so much. If anyone has any tips on handwashing clothes/sheets/towels, let me know. Because so far my clothes are losing shape and not really getting clean. Exciting stuff, I tell you.

Yesterday was my oral midterm. It was easy as expected. But I couldn't read some of the sentences we were supposed to read, so that was a little disheartening, but when she asked me to introduce my family I talked for about 10 minutes and she had to cut me off. Automatic A.

In an hour I take my listening test and then I am done with these midterms. This is going to be an interesting week to reflect on.

Tonight I'm teaching a class on intonation. When I tried this with my college students last year it bombed because they just don't get it. Teaching a tonal language speaker American English inflection is tricky. Here's hoping these doctors get it. Should be interesting either way. Last week I had them listening to Rascal Flatts and The Beatles filling in missing lyrics. I figure that was so fun for them that if I bomb out one class, they'll forgive me.

Here's a random assortment of pics from the last few days...

look closely...this man is related to my dad...(reading the paper while he DRIVES!)

in the fancy imported section of the grocery store, with my new OVEN! This purchase also resulted in the oven dance, oven chant, and oven lovin song.

after test photo shoot with some of my fave classmates:

I had to buy this bike because it has my name on it! ;)

Last night my classmate Steph and I spent 4 hours shopping in markets and the night market. We stopped for dinner here. Nothing beats meat on a stick for dinner. ha. And a new scarf and umbrella to make you feel better about your midterms.

Whelp...I'm off to take a test.

I hope all is well in your world.

Walk slow. xoxo.

.4% +1

This coming week is my midterm week.

My hardest exam - grammar/reading/writing is tomorrow at 9am.

I'm more nervous for this test than any test I can remember, (besides my masters thesis experience, that stands alone).

I've spent the last few days trying to detach my emotions from Chi.nese but it just doesn't work like that. Learning Chin.ese is emotional. It's survival. It's status. It's the difference between ordering dinner and telling directions to a taxi driver to going hungry and getting lost. I'm surrounded by it every day. I can't turn my ears off.

In the last 2 years I have had a metaphorical bag of Chinese. As I interacted, I would shake my bag of words out and Chinese people would have to put together the meaning. Now, I am learning in a classroom and the pressure is intense. My bag of tricks doesn't cut it any more.

I am facing up to my illiteracy. I am learning to read and write. And it terrifies me. I shake and sweat in class when we go around the room reading. I panic when I am asked to read something. For 2 years I have ignored Chinese characters and now I could kick myself in the butt for it.

But Chi.nese is not my self-worth.

Repeat after me: It's just a language. It's just a midterm. It's just a language. It's just a midterm. It's just a language. It's just a midterm.

And - these crazies (and by crazies, I mean the gov.) are paying me to be here. So technically, I get paid to take this test.

There, I feel better now.

Wanna know what learning to write Chin.ese looks like?...

A whole lotta this:

That paper basically says:

"I study Chinese" "I like to eat apples" "have have have have have have" "want want want want" "expensive cheap expensive cheap" "light heavy light heavy light heavy" "know think feel know think feel know think feel."

I feel like I'm learning to write "caveman."

ha.

A fun fact someone told me that I have no factual data on: Only .4% of non-Asian Americans can speak Chin.ese.

Make that, .4% +1.

See you on the other side of this test...

today's thoughts.

Even after all this time,
the sun never says to the earth,"You owe me."
Look what happens with a love like that.
It lights the whole sky.

Hafiz

panda face.

If life throws you latent TB...

wear a cute mask!

A lady at my chrch who was once upon a time a nurse in Scotland found out about my *special* circumstances and freaked out on me that I work in a hospital and don't wear a mask. (for my own sake, I am not a threat to anyone but myself).

Her exact words were, "this is not something to mess with."

OKAY FINE, I bought a mask. A cute one. And I'll be marchin' my pink panda bear butt into work wearing this thing for the next 3.5 months (when my treatment ends).

I call it, "latent TB fashion." Now if only this mask would cure the nausea...

Hey...if life gives you lemons...or Tb....or whatever...

Walk slow. xoxo.

once a teacher, always a teacher.

There's a Chinese saying that goes, "Once a teacher, a teacher for life."

This idea is so true here. I'm learning it more and more and I walk the line between being a student myself and keeping in touch with my old students. I'm constantly correcting essays, meeting up with students, or answering emails from my old little munchkins.

Last Saturday I was invited to a "barbeque" in a flower garden near my home with some of my old students. I was busy. But I went. And we had fun.

Here's some pics:

Good thing they remembered the, "ways for flavoring!"

Pauline with her meat on a stick:

the whole class:

oiling up the meat on a stick:

corn time:
lovey doves:

Once a teacher, a teacher for life.

Walk slow. xoxo.